Apple Pies & Speeding Tickets.

I gotta say, my driving been taking a hit lately. With flat tires,then yesterday, I get randomly pulled over.

Oh it was random btw. Cuz they pulled over two other cars right after me. They prob were low on they ticket quota for the day. Sure I didnt signal, but they wasnt anybody behind me though.

I should quit before this whole post turns into me fussin about getting another ticket. Fun Fact: Never gotten off with a warning, Ever.

Welp it is,what it is.  Guess I’ll just suck it up and pay for the sucker then.

Moral of the story: Be aware of the trap. As Admiral Ackbar puts it “ITS A TRAP!” and dont Speedz in tha Trap.

So, yesterday was one of my fav people’s b-day: Julia Child(s). My best friend had no idea who she was.

I almost kicked him out the car driving him to the Hospital. It was for injury rehab, I aint that mean.

But the woman was a pioneer in making cooking not a scary thing. I know it was for me.  Shoot 5 years ago, I was TERRIFIED to use an oven much less the stove.

I seriously thought I’d burned down the house if I ever touched the oven. Now look at me, Im baking like a pro.

Shoot, I even made a groomscake for a Real Wedding.

So theses Apple Pies are for you Julia.


I got the look from one of my fav fast food places that start with a “W”.

It’s big here in Texas.  I used to order them when I was in high school. Oh the good ole-days of that time.

So my usual DIY-self HAD to make it right? Yeup.

After a first botch-ed attempt at making the pie-crust. I managed to pull it off.

I’m a bit of a perfectionist if you will. That’s the problem w/us Artistic folks. Y’all know what I mean.

So this is an easy thing to make. Seriously. Just take a few notes and you’ll be golden, just like the pies. BOOM!

Thats just happened.

So to get this:


You’ll need this

For the Crust

  • 1 1/2 C Flour
  • 1/2 tsp Salt
  • 2 tsp Sugar
  • 1/4  to 1/2 C Cold Water (Add Ice Cubes if necessary)


  • Add everything  but the water in a food processor or giant bowl and pulse or crumble til it gets all grainy lookin.
  • Then add the water in the processor or if you got a bowl in the center like a well, then pull it together til comes together like a ball.
  • Flour the board/counter  and knead it til it comes together.
  • If you are like me with warm hands, dip ’em in ice water so the butter stays cold. If the butter gets warm, the crust aint gonna hold up.
  • Place in the fridge for about 15 minutes.
  • Proceed to roll out and cut out (in your best effort) rectangular shapes.

For the filling

  • 1 Apple ( I used Granny Smith, I luv ’em. Diced into cubes)
  • 1/2 tsp Cinnamon
  • 1/4 C Brown Sugar
  • 2 Tbs Reg Sugar
  • Pinch of Salt
  • 1 tsp Cornstarch
  • 1/2 a Lemon, Juiced.


  • Add everything in another bowl, let it sit for about 5 minutes til the juices start coming out.

To Assemble:

  • Place some of the apples on the rectangular pie crust.
  • Place another piece crust over the apple pieces and use a fork to hold it together.
  • After getting all them together, use 2 egg whites+ some water in a bowl and brush over the pies.
  • Cut a couple openings up top to let out some of the steam.
  • Then w/ a tablespoon of sugar cover the top.
  • Place in the oven for 30 minutes @ 350 degrees.

And you get this

Sounds like a lot huh? But it really aint, I swear.

Like what y’all see??

Comment, Like and/or Subscribe to this sucker.

I do update this thing weekly. So this aint a one time and one time only thingy.

Hopefully y’all like it.

As the infamous Julia Child(s) would say “BON APPETIT!”


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4 thoughts on “Apple Pies & Speeding Tickets.

  1. sarahnsh says:

    Wow, that looks absolutely delicious! And I never get off with a warning when I got pulled over for the first time… I was asked if I had been drinking though, which I immediately said, “Really? Hell no!”

  2. Conor Bofin says:

    Tasty looking pies Bill. Julia would have been impressed.

  3. mydearbakes says:

    You make terrific bakes, my dear! =)

  4. Matt says:

    Those look awesome! What a great way to celebrate Julia’s life and accomplishments!

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